the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Randomize
