I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
