Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
