she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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