none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
