So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
