I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
