Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
