then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You ate ashes out of my bong
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
