Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
