So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
