Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize