i already hear my dad disowning me
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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