Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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