she smelled like a LAN party
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
