There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
