I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
