I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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