I hate all girls vehemently.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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