dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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