If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The air was thick with penises
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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