I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize