so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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