i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
