I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
