So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
