Porn is love you can see.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
