Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
