is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
