Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize