he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
