so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
