I hate your face
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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