doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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