discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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