I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
