THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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