His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
