Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
