I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
