Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
