'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
