how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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