Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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