Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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