Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
if only i could text you this smell
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
