butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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