I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
