i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Randomize
