The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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