shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize