false alarm. still invincible.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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