I'm eating all of the evidence.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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