I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
