Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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