I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
