Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
