Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
