Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My pussy is not your playground.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
