you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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