i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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