i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
