Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you win again, gameday.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
