Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
