hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
